Sunday, March 20, 2005
It's a miracle!
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't.
But...
OK, so yesterday, I walked down to the bus stop after having eaten my last ramen noodles, with my last 50 cents in pocket, ready to go sell some plasma, so I could get a bus ride back home and buy some more ramen noodles.
It's all about food, you see.
So as I was talking on my cell phone to my friend Tim, who's getting ready to head off to jail for six months, I noticed, atop the trash can at the bus stop an unopened pack of peanut butter crackers, one of those ready-lunch packs of tuna fish and crackers, and what at first appeared to be chocolate coins.
On closer investigation, the coins were not chocolate, but rather plastic tokens, bearing the image of a gingerbread man with a big heart shape on his chest that said, "Jesus Warms My Heart".
What was this? Did someone forget their food while getting on the bus? Did someone set their food down atop the trash can while they went somewhere else to kill time before the bus came? Is some Christian making some sort of weird passive-aggressive attempt at charity toward the poor folks who have to ride the bus? Is it possible that this minor food offering was sent by Jesus himself, with fake money left behind as his calling card?
I also considered that the food, still sealed in all its original wrapping, and not in the trash, but atop the trash container, out in the open, was bait.
At the time, I figured mostly that it was left there and forgotten by someone.
So I wasn't gonna touch it.
Unless, you know, the bus showed up and no one had come along to claim it yet.
Then it was mine.
So I had a little snack at the North Lamar Transfer Center, waiting for the other bus I had to take to get to the lab to sell my plasma. Sitting there, on the bench, I ignored the profound urine stench of my surroundings and feasted upon what I now believe to have been some kind of subliminal proselytizing on behalf of a very sneaky Jesus freak.
Later, while drunk, I also considered that maybe it was an honest-to-goodness miracle. Something in the vein of water-to-wine, fishes and loaves.
But then I realized I don't believe in that stuff.
Whoever set that stuff out there. Thanks. It was tasty.
I don't.
But...
OK, so yesterday, I walked down to the bus stop after having eaten my last ramen noodles, with my last 50 cents in pocket, ready to go sell some plasma, so I could get a bus ride back home and buy some more ramen noodles.
It's all about food, you see.
So as I was talking on my cell phone to my friend Tim, who's getting ready to head off to jail for six months, I noticed, atop the trash can at the bus stop an unopened pack of peanut butter crackers, one of those ready-lunch packs of tuna fish and crackers, and what at first appeared to be chocolate coins.
On closer investigation, the coins were not chocolate, but rather plastic tokens, bearing the image of a gingerbread man with a big heart shape on his chest that said, "Jesus Warms My Heart".
What was this? Did someone forget their food while getting on the bus? Did someone set their food down atop the trash can while they went somewhere else to kill time before the bus came? Is some Christian making some sort of weird passive-aggressive attempt at charity toward the poor folks who have to ride the bus? Is it possible that this minor food offering was sent by Jesus himself, with fake money left behind as his calling card?
I also considered that the food, still sealed in all its original wrapping, and not in the trash, but atop the trash container, out in the open, was bait.
At the time, I figured mostly that it was left there and forgotten by someone.
So I wasn't gonna touch it.
Unless, you know, the bus showed up and no one had come along to claim it yet.
Then it was mine.
So I had a little snack at the North Lamar Transfer Center, waiting for the other bus I had to take to get to the lab to sell my plasma. Sitting there, on the bench, I ignored the profound urine stench of my surroundings and feasted upon what I now believe to have been some kind of subliminal proselytizing on behalf of a very sneaky Jesus freak.
Later, while drunk, I also considered that maybe it was an honest-to-goodness miracle. Something in the vein of water-to-wine, fishes and loaves.
But then I realized I don't believe in that stuff.
Whoever set that stuff out there. Thanks. It was tasty.
// posted by Todd @ 10:27 PM 
