Saturday, March 12, 2005
What? Too real?
These two gorgeous girls got on the bus downtown today.
The first one was Latina, I think, because of her smooth dark hair, because of her soft dark skin and because of her orange tank top that said, "Who doesn't like a spicy Latina?" on it. You know, one of those kinda girls.
Her friend: a living Barbie doll. Blonde. Long legs. Huge breasts. Young. Pretty.
This sight alone was enough to attract a passenger boy's attention. But then came the guy with the camera. And then came the guy with the boom mic. And then came the guy with the afro. And then came the lady with the headset.
The sex kittens took their places in one row of sideways reserved-for-the-handicapped seats while the film crew took up the row facing them across the aisle.
Some guy behind me starts sputtering, "Shouldn't they get my permission before they can come on the bus and film me?"
I didn't bother to say, "Shut up, ugly. No one's taking a picture of you. The lens is clearly pointed at those girls, and for good reason. They might start making out with each other any second. If we're lucky."
Instead, I lean forward to the guy in the seat in front of me to say, "What the fuck is going on?"
"I think it's The Real World. They're filming in Austin this season."
"Oh. Are you sure it's not for that one new show, 'Two Hot Chicks On A Bus'?"
He laughed politely and before Barbie could put her soft hand up Spicy Lattie's mini-skirt, the bus came to a stop.
Strangely enough, I don't even think they were talking. They were just, sitting there. While people pointed cameras and microphones at them and a woman in a headset jotted notes.
They were just sitting there when the bus driver stood up from his seat and moved towar the two girls. He said not a word, but his violent hand gestures said it all. "Get your bimbo asses off the goddamned differently-abled seat and sit over there. What the fuck are all these assholes with all this equipment even doing on my bus?"
He then folded the seat against the wall and began tugging free the 300-plus yards of seatbelt required to strap a wheelchair down.
And it without saying: If bimbo asses must vacate the goddamned differently-abled seats, then all those assholes with all that equipment would have to clear the fucking aisle.
So the crew came to the back of the bus. And somebody asked the guy with the boom mic what they were doing.
"A documentary," he stated.
"What's it called?" I asked.
"I can't tell you."
"I think you should call it, 'Two Hot Chicks On A Bus.'"
He laughed politely and departed the bus with the other crew members, following hand signals from the lady with the headset.
"I can't tell you"?
Great, asshole. I won't watch it, then.
In fact, I hope he was with The Real World. And I hope they can't use shit from the bus footage. And, most importantly, I'm glad I got to see a handicapped person disrupt two pretty girls' moment of undeserved glory.
Fuck MTV.
The first one was Latina, I think, because of her smooth dark hair, because of her soft dark skin and because of her orange tank top that said, "Who doesn't like a spicy Latina?" on it. You know, one of those kinda girls.
Her friend: a living Barbie doll. Blonde. Long legs. Huge breasts. Young. Pretty.
This sight alone was enough to attract a passenger boy's attention. But then came the guy with the camera. And then came the guy with the boom mic. And then came the guy with the afro. And then came the lady with the headset.
The sex kittens took their places in one row of sideways reserved-for-the-handicapped seats while the film crew took up the row facing them across the aisle.
Some guy behind me starts sputtering, "Shouldn't they get my permission before they can come on the bus and film me?"
I didn't bother to say, "Shut up, ugly. No one's taking a picture of you. The lens is clearly pointed at those girls, and for good reason. They might start making out with each other any second. If we're lucky."
Instead, I lean forward to the guy in the seat in front of me to say, "What the fuck is going on?"
"I think it's The Real World. They're filming in Austin this season."
"Oh. Are you sure it's not for that one new show, 'Two Hot Chicks On A Bus'?"
He laughed politely and before Barbie could put her soft hand up Spicy Lattie's mini-skirt, the bus came to a stop.
Strangely enough, I don't even think they were talking. They were just, sitting there. While people pointed cameras and microphones at them and a woman in a headset jotted notes.
They were just sitting there when the bus driver stood up from his seat and moved towar the two girls. He said not a word, but his violent hand gestures said it all. "Get your bimbo asses off the goddamned differently-abled seat and sit over there. What the fuck are all these assholes with all this equipment even doing on my bus?"
He then folded the seat against the wall and began tugging free the 300-plus yards of seatbelt required to strap a wheelchair down.
And it without saying: If bimbo asses must vacate the goddamned differently-abled seats, then all those assholes with all that equipment would have to clear the fucking aisle.
So the crew came to the back of the bus. And somebody asked the guy with the boom mic what they were doing.
"A documentary," he stated.
"What's it called?" I asked.
"I can't tell you."
"I think you should call it, 'Two Hot Chicks On A Bus.'"
He laughed politely and departed the bus with the other crew members, following hand signals from the lady with the headset.
"I can't tell you"?
Great, asshole. I won't watch it, then.
In fact, I hope he was with The Real World. And I hope they can't use shit from the bus footage. And, most importantly, I'm glad I got to see a handicapped person disrupt two pretty girls' moment of undeserved glory.
Fuck MTV.
// posted by Todd @ 12:52 AM 
